Despicable Me 3

You mean we have to make

another of these whaaaa?!

Grade: C –

Directors: Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda

Starring: Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Trey Parker, and Miranda Cosgrove

MPAA Rating: PG

Running Time: 1 hr. 30 min.

The Despicable Me franchise is a testament to the axiom “less is more.” Erstwhile über-villain Gru and crew were goofily charming through two films, then came the short films, and the video games, and the books, and the theme park rides. The yellow, pill-shaped Minions were the darlings of the first Despicable Me, then the animatronic Twinkies dulled us with overload in their own spinoff (which, for some godforsaken reason, is set for a sequel in three years).

In Despicable Me 3, the Minions are consigned back to the role of Greek chorus, popping up occasionally for what amount to intra-film music videos. The excess this time is reserved for two things. The first is 1980s nostalgia, under the guise of baddie du jour Balthazar Bratt (Trey Parker), an embittered former child actor who grows into a moonwalking, walkman toting, mullet sporting villain who vows revenge on Hollywood armed with his old TV catchphrase, “I’m been a bad boy!” It’s a cute premise, until directors Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda blast “Sussudio,” Van Halen’s “Jump,” and Michael Jackson “Bad,” all during just the cold open. There’s a lot where that came from.

The other is Gru (Steve Carell), who learns through the laziest of plot contrivances that he has a long-lost twin brother, Dru (a slightly more dandy Carell). A little of Carell’s Slavic inflections goes a long way, particularly when doubled as a wealthy, carefree, flaxen-haired doofus. When Gru and Lucy are fired from their jobs with the Anti-Villain League, Gru accepts Dru’s invitation to teach him the family villain business, even though Gru’s true aim is eventually earning back his reputable job.

Gru wants to be a brother, the Minions want a despicable leader, and Lucy wants to be a mom to Gru’s three kids, including Agnes, who just wants a unicorn. If those plot points sound ill-fitting, you’re right. Despicable Me 3 is a senseless, sloppy sequel. There are times when it seems to be grasping for a slipshod knockoff of The Incredibles. The only thing that’s incredible about this cash grab is its inevitable box office haul.

Despicable Me 2

Grade: B -

Director: Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud

Starring the voices of: Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig, Benjamin Bratt, Miranda Cosgrove, Russell Brand and Ken Jeong

MPAA Rating: PG

Running Time: 1 hr. 38 min.

The Gru of Despicable Me was, well, rather despicable. But while he’s still a surly neighbor, the Gru of Despicable Me 2 is downright domesticated. He’s doting father to this three adopted daughters, going so far as dressing up as a fairy princess in order to not spoil the birthday party of his youngest, Agnes. His underground minions and evil sidekick Dr. Nefario (Russell Brand) now produce jellies and jams, while admirers speak of Gru’s foregone plan to shrink and capture the moon with nostalgic reverence.

And this time around, Gru (Steve Carell) is working for the good guys. The former evil genius wants back into the game, and his nemesis is a once invincible supervillain named El Macho (Benjamin Bratt), purportedly posing as Eduardo, the rotund proprietor of a shopping mall Mexican restaurant. Yet Gru spends more time worrying about his teenage daughter Margo (Miranda Cosgrove) and her blossoming interest in boys, as well as pining over Lucy (Kristen Wiig, quite good), his rail-thin redheaded partner and gushing devotee.

The MacGuffin is the theft of some mysterious potion that turns anyone injected with it into purple, snarling creatures with appetites for destruction (Bath Salts?). What Despicable Me 2 is really about is, well, more and more minions. Yes, Gru’s pint-sized yellow helpers are back to bleep and blurp their way in and out of trouble. They have names, although none of them are important. And anytime the plot hits a stale patch—which is often—directors Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud trot out the animatronic Twinkies for more airtime and purposeless misadventures.

Still, Despicable Me 2 is more enjoyable than it has a right to be thanks to Carell’s zany yet wry wit and Wiig’s carefree confidence. Like that famous cream-stuffed sponge cake, the film is tasty to consume but not particularly enriching.

Despicable Me

Is there a Mrs. Super-Villian?

Grade: C +

Director: Pierre Coffin and Chris Renaud

Starring the voices of: Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand, Julie Andrews, Will Arnett, Kristen Wiig, and Miranda Cosgrove

Running Time: 1 hour, 35 minutes

MPAA Rating: PG

Despicable Me, Universal Studios’ animated summer entry, seems as though it should be rebranded Unlucky Me by having the misfortune of being released while the superb and superior Toy Story 3 is still filling theaters.

Trying to summarize the plot suggests part of Despicable Me’s problem. Gru (voiced by Steve Carell) is a megalomaniacal, past-his-prime professional villain who cuts in line at coffee shops and rumbles around down in a gargantuan, environmentally unfriendly tank. Gru also desperately yearns to get back into the dastardly deeds game by heisting the moon. So, he adopts a trio of pint-sized orphaned sisters selling scout cookies in order to help him pilfer a shrink ray off Vector (Jason Segal), a geeky, tracksuit-wearing rival baddie. Got it?

Beyond the strained storytelling – think Annie meets Dr. Evil – the entire setup smacks of contrivance. Beginning with Carell’s overcooked Eastern European brogue, there are also uneven, ethereal 3-D visuals (the product of a French animation house), an original, ill-fitting soundtrack by hip hop producer Pharrell Williams, and Gru’s throng of pill-shaped yellow Minions, who go off on their own misadventures and whose ultimate purpose is to serve as the film’s marketing face in lieu of the less cuddly Gru. The voice actors – Russell Brand, Julie Andrews, Miranda Cosgrove (iCarly) – are brand-name but virtually unrecognizable, which usually means they are misused.

Still, Despicable Me remains carefree enough, especially for its younger target audience. The filmmakers’ keen sense of comic timing aids many of its sight gags, and make sure you don’t watch the 3-D enhanced roller coaster sequence on a full stomach. I chuckled that the only person more sinister than a super-villain is a loan officer at the Bank of Evil (“formerly Lehman Brothers,” says its marquee). And, the film hoists up enough semi-credible, late-game moral lessons to preserve a semblance of integrity, although the notion that the girls will eventually thaw Gru’s heart is as predictable as squealing preteens at a Twilight screening.

Despicable Me is light, mildly entertaining, and entirely forgettable – think of it as the anti- Toy Story 3. Funny thing, for your average summertime kids’ diversion, that might just be enough.

Neil Morris